Fridays and Saturdays

Friday and Saturday nights are the hardest times for me in the hospital. Whew. Now that I got that off my chest! But seriously, they are the hardest times because it's when I would normally be out with friends enjoying my weekend and knowing that everyone else is doing just that makes it hard. Sometimes I forget while I'm here that life goes on outside of the hospital- people still have jobs, hang out with friends and live normal lives. For me, as life comes to a halt, I battle feeling discouraged, frustrated and alone.  I find that the little things keep me going and God provides exactly what I need at exactly the right time and sometimes in the midst of discouragement all I have left is to trust that God knows what he's doing- knows why I'm here and what He's doing inside my heart as I am painfully growing and learning in the midst of a life in the hospital. Even when I don't understand, I know that God knows.

As I write this post (at 7:35pm, Saturday night) the Lord provided encouragement at exactly the right moment, I'm not kidding. In fact, I wasn't planning on putting this in my post- I thought it would be a post full of lamenting and frustration. But right now, as I look out my window here on the 6th floor, a medical helicopter is landing right above me bringing (most likely) life-saving organs to this hospital to save someone's life.  Oh the hope it brings. As the windows shake from the helicopter above, I am reminded that God is in control, God works miracles, God brings life and God takes life. This hospital is full of miracles, they perform life-saving surgeries and transplants here and as I watch this helicopter land I can't help but thank the Lord for his timing and for saving someone's life with a miracle. I feel a sense of trust that God is bringing life to someone and a sense of grief that someone's life had to end for this to happen. And I feel a sense of joy to be able to witness it (well at least the helicopter delivery part). What a gift of hope....a gift of life for someone....a gift of hope to remind me that God is always working and is my source of hope. I can't help but smile knowing what a miracle is taking place and knowing it's all in God's hands and knowing I'm in His hands too.

...Thank you Lord for bringing exactly what I needed on this Saturday night....

~Em