I'm still Learning...

No matter how old I get, I am still learning to accept and be 'ok' with life with CF. Each time I think I've got it down, I seem to learn new things about balancing my health and my life. These last few days, as there have been lots of fires around and smoke in the air (see my previous post about that), I've had to take a step back and get away from my normal life and thus allow my body to come first. I spent about 24 hours feeling very ill and not breathing well- It's a difficult thing emotionally to realize that my body must dictate what I do, where I go and even in this specific case, whether or not I can be outside!

I've been battling the last few days the idea that it's so frustrating to have a job and not be able to do it (i'm not able to work because all my classes that I interpret take place outside, so I can't be out breathing the smoke). I want so badly to be independent and self-sufficient yet each time I turn around, I just can't and my body/CF get in the way. I want so badly to live that normal life- be just fine outside in the smoke, go and do what I would normally do and feel like I am functioning normally, feel like I can contribute to society with working, playing and being as I always am.
Don't get me wrong--I've been so blessed to have a place to retreat to with family, away from LA and away from the smoke. It's been good for me to let my body and lungs heal and not expose my lungs to more terrible toxins. And by all means, I don't want my complaining to be overshadowed by my gratitude that I am taken care of physically and that God has met my amazing needs in caring for my body. I am so grateful to be able to take care of the body God's given me...however, I just want to express the interesting battle that goes on inside me. For those of you who may not know much about CF, this is a little taste of some of the emotional frustrations that go alongside being an adult with this disease...
Above all, I am grateful God continues to give me grace through my frustration and until a cure is found for CF, I'll just keep on learning to balance my care for my body and my living a 'normal' life in society...I may not always like this battle for balance, but at the end of the day, I am still learning.
~Em

Fires in California

Most of you have probably seen the news and heard about it, but it's been pretty scary out here. Diamond Bar, my city, is currently threatened by the fires as are MANY others across So Cal. They have evacuated a few neighborhoods, very close to mine, and the fire is up over the hills. T

These fires are raging pretty quick and the Santa Ana winds are fueling the fire. This link is some pics of what it looks like outside right now...yuck.
Please keep Southern California in your prayers- pray the winds and heat can calm down, pray for the firefighters, residents that lost homes, residents in shelters, and pray these fires can be extinguished quickly.
Thanks friends,
~Em

A Little Health Update for November

Can you believe it's already the middle of November? Sheesh! I thought I'd throw out a little update on health, life, and how things are going...I haven't posted in awhile!

-I saw my CF doc yesterday for a check-up and my lung function (PFT) is still pretty low for me. I haven't quite bounced back since being sick a few months ago. My normal healthy lung function numbers are in the 70% range but since August I've been breathing at in the 60's range of lung function...so, thats a little frustrating as I haven't felt 100% myself in awhile.
-I may have a little lung infection still going which could explain me coughing out blood a few weeks ago. The infection isn't too big yet so hopefully I can
-I met with my ENT and scheduled sinus surgery for December. I am glad to do this since my sinuses have been bothering me a ton. Plus, it's very possible that the infection harbored up in my sinuses could be a cause to lowered lung function as the infection can drip down into my lungs...so hopefully when that's taken care of, I'll start to bounce back.

Other than that, things are good. I'm doing my best to stay healthy as the cold/flu season kicks in. Praise God, I've avoided such things so far. If you think of it, keep me in your prayers through the winter...:).
~Em

Weekly Thanks

This week, I am thankful for...
1. The change in weather! We had some rain and finally some cooler temperatures...dare I say, it actually feels like fall??

2. A fabulous evening out with my friend Kim as we drove to San Diego, heard some new music by Matt Nathanson... LOVED IT! Check it out on itunes!!

3. Waking up on Saturday to surf, followed by breakfast with a friend and then coming home to take a wonderful nap on Saturday while I heard the rain trickle outside my window...can't beat a good nap :)

4. The reminder at church today that God can use our weaknesses and ordinary aspects of our lives for His plans...I am encouraged because it reminds me that God's plans are bigger than mine ever could be.
~Em