Wednesday, October 28, 2009
How I miss thee! Oh how I miss the joy of eating delicious appetizing food. Why can't I be hungry? Please start tasting good and settling happily in my stomach, I would greatly appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
ps. In case you didn't get it, I want my appetite back! I'm on day 14 of having this swine flu and my appetite has not returned....I'm ready to start wanting to eat again!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I got a wonderful treat delivered by my dear friend Shelly and it hit the spot (and thats saying something since I still have very little appetite or desire to eat anything- so really, this was tasty!). Thanks Shelly, I loved every bite of the fresh organic, juicy, tasty berries and creamy tart- you can't find this in the hospital cafeteria ;).
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday and Saturday nights are the hardest times for me in the hospital. Whew. Now that I got that off my chest! But seriously, they are the hardest times because it's when I would normally be out with friends enjoying my weekend and knowing that everyone else is doing just that makes it hard. Sometimes I forget while I'm here that life goes on outside of the hospital- people still have jobs, hang out with friends and live normal lives. For me, as life comes to a halt, I battle feeling discouraged, frustrated and alone. I find that the little things keep me going and God provides exactly what I need at exactly the right time and sometimes in the midst of discouragement all I have left is to trust that God knows what he's doing- knows why I'm here and what He's doing inside my heart as I am painfully growing and learning in the midst of a life in the hospital. Even when I don't understand, I know that God knows.
As I write this post (at 7:35pm, Saturday night) the Lord provided encouragement at exactly the right moment, I'm not kidding. In fact, I wasn't planning on putting this in my post- I thought it would be a post full of lamenting and frustration. But right now, as I look out my window here on the 6th floor, a medical helicopter is landing right above me bringing (most likely) life-saving organs to this hospital to save someone's life. Oh the hope it brings. As the windows shake from the helicopter above, I am reminded that God is in control, God works miracles, God brings life and God takes life. This hospital is full of miracles, they perform life-saving surgeries and transplants here and as I watch this helicopter land I can't help but thank the Lord for his timing and for saving someone's life with a miracle. I feel a sense of trust that God is bringing life to someone and a sense of grief that someone's life had to end for this to happen. And I feel a sense of joy to be able to witness it (well at least the helicopter delivery part). What a gift of hope....a gift of life for someone....a gift of hope to remind me that God is always working and is my source of hope. I can't help but smile knowing what a miracle is taking place and knowing it's all in God's hands and knowing I'm in His hands too.
...Thank you Lord for bringing exactly what I needed on this Saturday night....
Friday, October 23, 2009
That's right, just got the results from my H1N1 test that I took when I was admitted on Sunday. I officially have the swine flu which explains a lot of why I wasn't able to fight this off on my own! It explains why the flu attacked my CF as well and my body wasn't able to fight it off. I got an infection in my lungs so rapidly and so severely that I guess thats what happens when H1N1 interacts with CF.
There's not much they can do now since I've had it for over a week, but mostly I'll just stay put in the hospital until I'm feeling better and the virus is mostly out of my system :). Glad to know the official results, just thought I'd share. Other than that, not much has changed- I am doing IV meds, doing my treatments, resting a ton and staying put. I still don't have much of an appetite, but I'm slowly eating and keeping things in my stomach, I'm gradually getting better :). Please continue to keep me in your prayers, I am so thankful to be getting good care here at USC!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I did my best to avoid this gnarly flu with hand sanitizer and crazy avoidance of sick people but alas, it caught up with me and last Thursday it hit me hard! I woke up that morning with a terrible cough and sinus headache and by that evening was burning up with a fever, chills and it only got worse from there :(. I fought hard all weekend (thanks to my mom who really took amazing care of me- homemade soup, making sure I drank water so I didn't get dehydrated, and helping me get through the terrible-ness that is the flu). My mom's a rockstar...
After fighting over the weekend by Sunday night it was clear that the flu had made its move into my lungs and I knew that an infection had kicked in. I wasn't able to sleep from coughing so much mucus out of my lungs and when I woke up with another high fever that morning I knew it was time to call my doc and get some help. I was admitted Sunday night and though I was reluctant to make the call, I thank the Lord for wisdom as when I got here my oxygen levels were way too low (I had too much stuff in my lungs to allow me to get enough O2). I knew once I saw those numbers that it was good for me to be here and I feel very peaceful knowing i'm in good hands. My fevers have gone away and now that I have some extra oxygen I am breathing better and making progress. I'm on IV antibiotics and working on getting rid of this gnarly lung infection....
Just wanted to update my blog readers, I'll keep posting to update but as of now, day 4 in the hospital, I am much more aware of what's going on. The first few days because I was so deprived of O2 I really don't remember or feel like I even comprehended that I was here. Now that I sit in my quiet room and reflect, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for prompting me to be here. I don't know how to explain my thoughts right now with the exception of gratitude and peace. I feel peaceful that I am being taken care of and thankful God provides.
More updates soon...
Monday, October 5, 2009
I spent the week of labor day on the big island of Hawaii, I absolutely love it there. It was such a gift to spend the week taking care of my lungs, spending good time with my parents and enjoying the beauty all around the island. I actually noticed my lungs get better by the end of the week! It might possibly be my favorite of the islands...here are a few snapshots of our trip :)
We enjoyed many a sunset....Hiked from the top of Pololu'u Valley...
...to the black sand beach below.... (And yes, back up again)